Heero's Wedding
by AKS
Summary: Heero's getting married! That is not something you would see everyday, now would you?
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: Omaesan! Here's a new fic! and a new chance to be very, very, very evil. ^_^ heh heh.  
  
This fic was co-written by Saiyagirl. Go read her fics. They are great. I'm not lying! They really are!"  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing does not belong to me. It will never belong to me. I wish it belonged to me.  
  
Heero's wedding day.....  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Duo, being the garrulous best man, this time had to restrain Heero from trying to escape. All the while, the usually moody gundam pilot screamed bloody-murder at him, threatened to kill his (un)born kids, threatened to murder Hilde, and generally made the biggest fuss a man can make at a wedding. Wufei, after the Duo wedding debacle, was appalled to find that he would once again, have to attend Heero's.  
  
"Speeches. Again?"  
  
"Yes, speeches! And man-oh-man, you had better make it sound good!" Duo was in the act of trying to cram Heero into a groom's suit. Heero, on the other hand, was trying to reach for the gun that he had brought along for emergencies. And this probably counted as an emergency, as it was that he had never officially agreed to the whole thing.  
  
Trowa, being Trowa, stood off to the side, a hint of a smile on his lips, watching the scene with moderate amusement. He was holding Heero's bridegroom accessories, namely the ring, the flowers, and the cue cards for his speech.  
  
"All righty, upsy-daisy!" Duo grabbed the vest and zipped it up, locking it in place afterwards with a special, utility lock that ensured he would not escape before the end of the ceremony. Heero was twisting for his gun. Quatre snatched it out of reach just in time. "I really don't think you should be shooting anyone at the ceremony, Heero-san." He said in a drippy-sweet voice.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
All heads turned as Relena appeared at the doorway, dressed to kill. Heero's jaw nearly sank to the floor. Duo shut it for him. Quatre turned red. "Uh...Relena..heh...you look...nice..." He managed. She was wearing an ivory bridal gown that spread twelve feet of material across the floor. Before she could say one word, Duo barged in.  
  
"Heeeeyyy! The bride's not supposed to see the groom until the ceremony!"  
  
"That's right," Zechs appeared and growled, dragging her away, "and I've told you that you'll wear that revealing thing over my dead body!" Noin hurried after him with a worried expression on her face. Sally followed behind, a huge, exotic bouquet held in her hands. She winked at Wufei and ran off before he could retaliate. Wufei inhaled deeply, exhaled, and his coloring dropped several shades. Trowa grabbed him absently as he slid to the floor.  
  
"That's it. I can't stand her anymore! I'm leaving home and traveling to the farthest planet a man can survive on!" He started to stalk away, but Quatre grabbed him.  
  
"You can't go before the wedding Wufei, it's not fitting," he said innocently.  
  
"Yeah," Duo added, having bound and gagged Heero on the floor and was tying black heels on his feet. "Heero getting married is not something you see everyday. Seriously, I would pay to see this if I have to." A maganac appeared, saluting smartly to Quatre. "Lord Zechs has given the groom permission to retire from the dressing room."  
  
"Since when did he become Lord Zechs?" Duo muttered. "Half a minute!" he shouted. He stood up and surveyed his creation, an imagination frown on his face. Heero kicked wildly against the ropes. Quatre twirled his gun, watching with a critical eye.  
  
"And now, to touch it off!" Duo announced proudly. He took a flower from Trowa's bunch and stuck it in the tuxedo breast pocket. "There!" He proceeded to un-gag Heero and untie him. The pilot was all for strangling him, if Trowa and Quatre hadn't been restraining him.  
  
"When I get my hands on you-!" Heero circled his palms in a choking motion and gestured violently. The other pilots dragged him away to the sound of 'Here comes the Bride..'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's note: Yeah, I know. It's a bit short. Next chapter's coming real soon! 


	2. "To Refuse, or not?"

"Will you marry me?" Those were the words that Relena had agreed to. And today was her wedding day.  
  
"There! All done! You look lovely, Relena."  
  
"Thank you, Noin."  
  
Lucrezia Noin had just finished setting Relena's hair. Down the hall, Relena could hear screams, yelps, and crashes. She did not even want to consider what, more likely, who; was making those noises.  
  
Someone knocked at the door.  
  
Hilde Schibeker leapt to her feet and answered the closed door. She was wearing a pretty lavender gown that set off her purplish eyes. Hilde gasped when she saw Duo staring at her.  
  
"DUO! GET OUT, NO BAKA! THIS IS A WOMEN'S ROOM!"  
  
"Whoops, heh heh..." (Noin sweatdrops)  
  
Hilde pushes Duo back out the door. He leaves.....  
  
"OUCH!!! GET OFF ME--NO! I WON'T WEAR THAT STUPID LOOKING--HEY!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hey! Wu-man! I need some help!"  
  
"For the last time! My name is Wufei!"  
  
"Wu-boy! Come give me a hand."  
  
Duo was holding a struggling Heero against the wall. Heero was cursing. Trowa was leaning against the wall and smirking (finally some emotion!). Quatre was grinning from ear-to-ear. Quatre was also adjusting Heero's bowtie.  
  
Wufei was sulking in the corner, eyes darting left and right as if looking for an escape route. "Women!" he muttered. "Always coming up with these stupid marriage notions."  
  
Duo blew a wisp of hair back from his own face and released Heero. "Done!" he sighed. Then he slumped onto a chair, hands behind head, and swung his legs up onto the counter.  
  
"SO........How does it feel to be engaged? Are you nervous about the wedding? Are you going to have a speec-"  
  
"SHUT UP!!!!!!" roared Wufei. Quatre and Trowa rolled their eyes.  
  
"Get those bottoms movin!" Sally Po's voice could be heard behind the closed door.  
  
"Women. Always interfering. You'd think they had nothing else to do...." Wufei was still muttering as he trooped out the door. He had refused to participate, and so, as usual, Duo was made the best man. Trowa and Quatre offered to stand around, just in case Heero tried to run away.  
  
Heero felt sick in the stomach. So this is how someone feels when they're nervous. He mused. They led him outside to the sanctuary, where everyone was waiting. Since Relena held a much more honored position than Duo and Hilde, she had a very official-looking pastor at the podium, waiting rather impatiently for the groom to arrive. The seats in the huge room were also packed full, since Relena had enough friends (and associates) to fill a planet. Quatre, to fit everyone in the room, had only taken a small portion of his maganac representatives. Heero himself had not so much as one close relative or friend (aside from the other pilots) and grumbled to himself about Relena's being too social for his tastes.  
  
Since this was a much more important wedding than Duo's and Hilde's, there was a much larger, far more elaborate ceremony. The cost of the entire thing could've fed a small community for a month. As it was, Quatre had pitched in with the expenses, even though Relena herself was already filthy rich. Outside the dressing rooms and beyond the sanctuary, Relena had set out a hugely lavish banquet for all the guests. Delicacies of every colony and planet had been set aside and made especially by Quatre's hired chefs. Over fifty huge, fresh white tables had been set up, complete with lavender flowers and scented candles on them.  
  
Wufei was glaring at everybody, and looking longingly at the swords that hung on the wall. Sally Po stood next to him, fiddling with her bouquet of flowers. The pastor coughed impatiently and rapped the podium. The organ, accompanied by a pianist and a small string quartet, started up with a nice, even bridal tune. Heero was being forcibly pushed out from one of the aisles, followed by a grinning Duo, a sulking Wufei, an expressionless Trowa, and a cheerful Quatre. The crowd clapped appreciatively. The pastor smiled in relief. He had been warned that the groom might try and escape his fate before the ceremony was performed.  
  
Heero struggled like a mad-man, trying to do anything within his power to halt this unholy process. Duo stood his ground like a rock, continuously shoving him towards the stage with determination. Quatre stood behind him and shoved the gun into his backbone to stop him from running away. Heero, like the perfect soldier he was, calmed at the feel of a gun at his back. Wufei muttered Chinese curses under his breath.  
  
Slowly, Heero ascended the stage, dimly realizing that his legs seemed to have turned to water. He wasn't afraid or guns, anatomic lasers, proton weapons, enemies, or even death, but he quailed at the thought of his marriage - with Relena, no less! Dressed in a shiny black tux, he waited for the arrival of Relena.  
  
From the opposite aisle, the bride glided in; dressed in serene majesty that fitted her personality and rank perfectly. Zechs had indeed made her change her appearance entirely, but now she wore a deep, metallic gown of fairest blue, her shoulders, wide sleeves, and gown train accented by wide cuffs of purest white fur. Her hair, done elaborately by several of the bridesmaids, was shaped into a tight bun at the back of her head, twin braid-tails falling neatly from it. Heero sucked in his breath sharply. His face had gone a pale pallor. Duo couldn't tell if it was just nervousness, or if it was the stunning appearance of Relena. Zechs, who was playing usher, was just a step behind Heero, gun in hand in case the gundam pilot decided to try anything. Relena glided down the aisle and stepped up the stage to face Heero.  
  
The pilot felt his throat go dry. He felt the strange urge to laugh hysterically. His training instructor; the harsh, cruel, commander who had molded him into the soldier that he was; had told him to never have emotions, fear, anger, or feeling. Heh. Imagine if his ex-commander could see him now.getting married to one of the most important women in the galactic empire.  
  
The pastor took both their hands and placed Heero's on top of Relena's. Heero twitched at her touch. His hand shaking.slightly. Relena smiled sardonically at him with the 'and-I-thought-you're-afraid-of- nothing' look. The pastor began his slow, monotonous drone. Heero glanced behind and around him for a way out. The pastor still had his hand clasped to Relena's and he had a surprisingly strong grip for an old man. In front of him, standing patiently on the side pews, Duo had his own gun trained on his like he was in target practice. There was a seriously disturbing grin pasted on his face. Behind him, Zechs had his own rapid-fire machine gun leveled at his back. Heero swallowed visibly even as the pastor droned on. Duo's smirk told him all he wanted to know. If he so much as twitched a muscle, he would have a spray of bullets embedded in him before he could even say 'I do.'  
  
".To care for her, and love her, and sustain her in all ways..until death do you part.forever into eternity. Do you wish to join yourself to Ms. Peacecraft from now, if yes, say 'I do'." The pastor glared at him. Heero glanced at Zechs, then at Duo. Relena's brother had a withering look on his face. Duo was mouthing the words 'I do, I do, I do', in a very obvious manner. Heero glanced at Relena. Her head was slightly tilted, her smile was genuine this time.  
  
"I.d--" Heero almost stopped himself and his mouth changed the words to "don't" at the very last minutes. His face grew hot. Relena had a quizzical look on her face. There was an audible click as Duo's and Zech's safety latch on their guns was removed. Wufei was grinning like a madman. Heero panicked. What had happened to his mouth??? Relena staring at him seriously, her face a mask of hurt. The pastor was rubbing his spectacles on the folds of his robe. He placed them back on and glared icily at Heero.  
  
"So, young man, you are going to stand your bride up on this wonderful occasion?" His voice was normal, a difference from his former droning. There were groans from the sanctuary. The maganacs were glancing to one another in surprise. So were Relena's bridesmaids. Zechs stepped up, and jabbed the gun into Heero's back. The war may be over, and Heero may have been getting married, but he was still a soldier nevertheless. His arms flew up defensively. Duo cocked the gun at his chest.  
  
"One pull is all it takes. You want to live married, or die unmarried?" He asked Heero pleasantly. Hilde's hand had flown to her mouth in shock. There was a stirring in the crowd. No one had ever attended a wedding in which the groom had to be forced into an 'I do' with a gun. Duo smiled sweetly, though his voice dripped dangerously. "What'll it be?"  
  
Zechs whispered into Heero's ear. "If you ever make my sister unhappy, or even have her slightly displeased with you, I will personally make your life a living hell for the rest of your born days."  
  
Heero felt his throat go dry. "Ughhh." Great, Yuy! Just before you get married, you show her down. "No! I mean yes! Wait!"  
  
The priest felt like rolling his eyes. This was the worst case of wedding jitters he had seen in years. "Would you like me to repeat myself?"  
  
Heero nodded. Zechs put his gun back in his holster. Duo did likewise, still grinning like a maniac. Hilde and Noin sighed, relieved. Wufei started to scowl again. Sally Po elbowed him in the ribs.  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Hi! This chapter is much longer than the first one so please, please, please review! Thanx. 


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